You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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