Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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