Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
