Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I have already put on my inside pants.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
