my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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