do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
never play flip cup with pint glasses
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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