then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
