I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
