it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
