All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
