Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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