Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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