double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
