Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
