I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
