Did you just see the Batmobile???
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
