The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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