Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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