Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i think i just lost a toe
The Olympian is in my bed
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