With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
