I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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