I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
