My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
