I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
