you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
