He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
