are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
