are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
