You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Randomize
