jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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