hotel room ftw
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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