Your tits are I can't wait for
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
