I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
