you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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