yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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