I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
