he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
