Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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