I bet he comes in French.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
