glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
