I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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