I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
