Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
