guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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