honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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