I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
