I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
