Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
