This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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