I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
