went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Found your dick twin last night
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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