absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
